we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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