just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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