She said her name was "party"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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