Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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