I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize