There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
