I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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