I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
