Me too!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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