I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
