i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
