I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
