I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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