He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
