I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
