Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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