Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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