Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
