maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
