whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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