This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize