i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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