You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
