i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
