i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
