Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
