I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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