I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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