you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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