Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
