I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
