if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
