Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
