then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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