I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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