her vagine was all disorganized.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
