He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
