I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
