Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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