and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
