Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
