2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You've changed since you got that strap on
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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