Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do herpes really smell.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
