And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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