so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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