so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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