dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
