I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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