Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
