chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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