just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
