your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
