Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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