I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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