I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
