I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Actions speak louder than pants.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How naked do you want me to be?
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