We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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