I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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