OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
