Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Randomize