I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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