my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
