i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
