Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
